Observations in Germany - Part II

The Miraculous German Grocery Store Que

This is definitely not unique to Germany, but it is something I notice happening a lot more here than in other places. Let me explain. Say you're standing in line with 7 other people at the grocery store and are in the only checkout lane open. You're standing, waiting, perusing the tiny bottles of liquor at the checkout stand as more and more people pile up behind you. You've been waiting for approximately 10 minutes and still are buried deep in the line. Suddenly, the checkout next to you opens up. What happens? The last person in line, the person who has only been waiting for 15 seconds, runs - and I literally mean runs - over to the newly opened checkout while the person that was in front of them waiting for, oh, I don't know, maybe 40 seconds, fills in behind them. As you stand there, pissed that these people have essentially 'taken cuts', you watch them merrily pay for their goods and leave the store while you are still standing and waiting, while four others are still in front of you. The miraculous part about this is that nobody ever gets upset when this occurs, as if it's a part of life in Germany that one must accept to get by. "Hey, today maybe wasn't my day, but by golly, tomorrow it could possibly be ME that gets to cut in front of everyone else! Oh Joy!"

Yes, this is a big pet peeve of mine and always has been. In America, I would speak up when I saw something like this happen, usually being my smart-ass self to make the point. Most people usually got the hint and would shuffle to the back of the line where they belonged. However, I'm not quite so vocal here in Germany as I am a visitor and most people in my tiny town know it. No use in being the a-hole Ami, so I just accept it as another cultural quirk and move on. After three years here, it doesn't quite grate on me like it used to, but I still find it a valid issue to highlight about living here. It does catch most newcomers by surprise!

I was going to make an animation displaying exactly what I'm talking about, but instead, I made the animation below which was much more fun to create. It really has no point, but I was bored and tired and it gave me something to do. The video is a bit small, so click HERE for a larger version.

Observations in Germany - Part I

I'm sure that some of you who have never been to Germany before may be wondering what day to day life is like over here. You may be asking yourself questions such as "Do Germans really wear leather pants and cute little hats with feathers in them?" Or, "Do German kids really start drinking beer at the age of 9?" Maybe you've always wanted to know what it feels like to drive a car down the Autobahn at 140 m.p.h. or if the McDonald's in Germany serve schnitzel burgers with a side of pretzel fries and a 12oz glass of peach schnapps to wash it all down. Well, thankfully you have us to answer these questions for you and to even bring you some insight in to the German culture and just how different it can be for a foreigner living here.

From time to time we will be bringing you our 'Observations from Germany.' Usually these will be things that even make us, two Americans with a few years under our belts in Deutschland, pause and ponder over the little cultural differences we encounter every now and then. These are meant to be light-hearted and fun, but in most instances, are true from our perspective. I'm sure most foreigners visiting the US could point out just as many curiosities pertaining to American culture and make just as much fun of us. But, if it weren't for these differences, what would be the fun of traveling and experiencing new places? With that in mind, let me bring you Part I in this series:

Navigating German Sidewalks

In most of the places I've lived or visited, negotiating a sidewalk is a fairly easy task and something that almost anyone can figure out no matter where you are. Most people around the world tend to like their personal space and will give a generous berth as they approach one another. This allows everyone to maintain a steady pace while also staying within the confines of the relatively safe sidewalk. This can be more difficult when walking in groups, but still, most people tend to have this figured out from about the age of 10 or so. When two groups are on a collision course, each group will respectively file behind others in their group so that everyone can pass each other comfortably without impeding the progress of the others. The only place that I've seen this break down is in Tokyo, Japan, but that place is crazy-busy and sometimes the rules just can't be adhered to there. Just in case my writing isn't clear on this subject, I've created a short animation that shows how two groups of two approaching each other would normally behave in order to make it a pleasant experience for all. Please click the 'Play' button below.

Pretty simple, right? Everyone continues on with their day happy and content without a care in the world when this type of sidewalk behavior is followed. However, upon moving to my new town in Germany (Weiden id Opf at the time), I tended to get out and explore on foot as much as I could. The more I did this, the more I began to notice something quite curious about the typical sidewalk etiquette in my little town. People simply did not move out of the way, especially while walking in groups. The worst happened when I would be walking alone on a two person-wide sidewalk, approaching two people walking side by side coming at me. In almost every instance, I would be forced to step in to the street or to hug a wall while they passed me, often with a bump to the shoulder, and giving no acknowledgement that I even existed. I just didn't understand it. It got really interesting when I would be walking with someone else and encountered this scenario. It was akin to playing chicken or red rover as a child. Even though I was super, super, super good at those games as I kid, I found myself on the losing end of these events in Germany more often than not (like, always). I just couldn't crack these people and always ended up jumping off of the sidewalk or in to a doorway in order to preserve my two foot, no-touching, personal bubble. I've illustrated a worst-case example in the animation below. Viewers be advised.....

So, the big question then is, what happens when two groups of Germans approach each other? After over three years of living here, I still am not positive how this is done and I don't think I will ever know without a diligent and time-consuming study of this phenomenon. I kind of think of it like one of those atomic colliders where atoms are shot towards each other at the speed of light, smashing together creating a fiery mass of destruction and chaos. I'm positive this is going to happen as I just can't see either group giving way to the other. Sometimes when I do see groups of locals walking towards each other down a confined walkway, I duck for cover behind the nearest dumpster or light pole or even a small child, just waiting for the world to be sucked in to a black hole. Each time, however, I open my eyes after a few minutes of agonizing end-of-the-world anticipation, only to realize that the sun is still shining, people are still milling about eating their ice cream and that I still can't stand Barry Manilow music. By some miracle, the groups have eased by each other without incidence, acting as if they hadn't almost inadvertently destroyed the planet. I just don't get how they do it.............. Special schooling? Telepathic communication? They all have those little roller skate shoes that allow them to quickly maneuver around one another at the last instant? I have no idea and I don't think I ever will.