Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Observations in Germany - Part I

I'm sure that some of you who have never been to Germany before may be wondering what day to day life is like over here. You may be asking yourself questions such as "Do Germans really wear leather pants and cute little hats with feathers in them?" Or, "Do German kids really start drinking beer at the age of 9?" Maybe you've always wanted to know what it feels like to drive a car down the Autobahn at 140 m.p.h. or if the McDonald's in Germany serve schnitzel burgers with a side of pretzel fries and a 12oz glass of peach schnapps to wash it all down. Well, thankfully you have us to answer these questions for you and to even bring you some insight in to the German culture and just how different it can be for a foreigner living here.
From time to time we will be bringing you our 'Observations from Germany.' Usually these will be things that even make us, two Americans with a few years under our belts in Deutschland, pause and ponder over the little cultural differences we encounter every now and then. These are meant to be light-hearted and fun, but in most instances, are true from our perspective. I'm sure most foreigners visiting the US could point out just as many curiosities pertaining to American culture and make just as much fun of us. But, if it weren't for these differences, what would be the fun of traveling and experiencing new places? With that in mind, let me bring you Part I in this series:
Navigating German Sidewalks
In most of the places I've lived or visited, negotiating a sidewalk is a fairly easy task and something that almost anyone can figure out no matter where you are. Most people around the world tend to like their personal space and will give a generous berth as they approach one another. This allows everyone to maintain a steady pace while also staying within the confines of the relatively safe sidewalk. This can be more difficult when walking in groups, but still, most people tend to have this figured out from about the age of 10 or so. When two groups are on a collision course, each group will respectively file behind others in their group so that everyone can pass each other comfortably without impeding the progress of the others. The only place that I've seen this break down is in Tokyo, Japan, but that place is crazy-busy and sometimes the rules just can't be adhered to there. Just in case my writing isn't clear on this subject, I've created a short animation that shows how two groups of two approaching each other would normally behave in order to make it a pleasant experience for all. Please click the 'Play' button below.
Pretty simple, right? Everyone continues on with their day happy and content without a care in the world when this type of sidewalk behavior is followed. However, upon moving to my new town in Germany (Weiden id Opf at the time), I tended to get out and explore on foot as much as I could. The more I did this, the more I began to notice something quite curious about the typical sidewalk etiquette in my little town. People simply did not move out of the way, especially while walking in groups. The worst happened when I would be walking alone on a two person-wide sidewalk, approaching two people walking side by side coming at me. In almost every instance, I would be forced to step in to the street or to hug a wall while they passed me, often with a bump to the shoulder, and giving no acknowledgement that I even existed. I just didn't understand it. It got really interesting when I would be walking with someone else and encountered this scenario. It was akin to playing chicken or red rover as a child. Even though I was super, super, super good at those games as I kid, I found myself on the losing end of these events in Germany more often than not (like, always). I just couldn't crack these people and always ended up jumping off of the sidewalk or in to a doorway in order to preserve my two foot, no-touching, personal bubble. I've illustrated a worst-case example in the animation below. Viewers be advised.....
So, the big question then is, what happens when two groups of Germans approach each other? After over three years of living here, I still am not positive how this is done and I don't think I will ever know without a diligent and time-consuming study of this phenomenon. I kind of think of it like one of those atomic colliders where atoms are shot towards each other at the speed of light, smashing together creating a fiery mass of destruction and chaos. I'm positive this is going to happen as I just can't see either group giving way to the other. Sometimes when I do see groups of locals walking towards each other down a confined walkway, I duck for cover behind the nearest dumpster or light pole or even a small child, just waiting for the world to be sucked in to a black hole. Each time, however, I open my eyes after a few minutes of agonizing end-of-the-world anticipation, only to realize that the sun is still shining, people are still milling about eating their ice cream and that I still can't stand Barry Manilow music. By some miracle, the groups have eased by each other without incidence, acting as if they hadn't almost inadvertently destroyed the planet. I just don't get how they do it.............. Special schooling? Telepathic communication? They all have those little roller skate shoes that allow them to quickly maneuver around one another at the last instant? I have no idea and I don't think I ever will.

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