I've heard from a friend that Rick Steves is in fact a pretty cool guy. "I don't know", I said. "He seems like kind of a geek and his travel show absolutely bugs the hell out of me." My friend then went on to inform me that Mr. Steves tailors his show to the typical American tourist by highlighting the big attractions, playing on the cultural stereotypes of a place and basically dumbing down travel to make it easy for first-timers. My friend further told me, after having attended a Rick Steves talk, that he has some crazy travel stories and is a very down-to-Earth type of guy with a pretty satirical and witty sense of humor. I guess Mr. Steves has found his niche and is doing quite nicely and probably does help out a lot of people and those people really enjoy his show. It is nice to hear, for such a well-traveled guy, that he really isn't as big of a bonehead as he seems on the TV.
See, I'm more of an Anthony Bourdain kind of guy. I love his travel/food show, "No Reservations" and really enjoy reading his literary works. He's a tell-it-like-it-is, politically incorrect, no-holds-barred type of host who focuses more on the locals perspective rather than the just-off-the-boat tourist types. He shows you things in cities that most normal tourists will never see. That's how I like to travel. Away from the crowds, away from the tourist traps, away from the disneyland-esque features of a place that attract rubes like flies are attracted to a pile of my dog's........well, you get the point.
However, I must state that we ALL are guilty of being the tourist I have learned to loathe from time to time. It just can't be helped. No matter how much prior research is done before a trip, you still tend to gravitate towards the most popular sites the first time you visit a place. They are magnetic and have to be checked off of the list of 'must sees' before you can move on and really start exploring. I mean, you go to Paris, you're going to see the Eiffel Tower. You're more than likely going to wait in line for three hours to enter the Louvre. When in Rome, you're not going to miss the Colosseum. You're more than likely not going to miss seeing the Sistine Chapel and Vatican City either. Hell, you've traveled that far and spent that much time on a plane, more than likely sitting next to some stinky Euro or a screaming baby, so you're not going to skip out on these iconic places.
I've been labeled as being 'lucky' and 'fortunate' and people say they are envious of the places I've lived. The lucky and fortunate part are true and I don't dispute this and I have absolutely no complaints. However, being envious of my life may be a bit of a stretch. What a lot of people don't understand is that I also work a full-time job in these places, deal with mundane tasks such as mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, paying bills and everything else that makes living a responsible life in today's modern world possible. I hagle over my cellphone bill with clueless Vodaphone employees, deal with medical bills that are incorrect and put up with nosey neighbors who just can't seem to mind their own business. Same scheisse, different country. However, Germany is not America and dealing with the differences in the culture and dealing with them in a different language does tend to raise the blood pressure just a wee bit higher.
"Yes, but you live in EUROPE! EUROPE is GREAT! We were there for two weeks and had a fantastic time and can't wait to go back!"
Yes, you also had your room cleaned for you daily, didn't have to cook meals or shop for your food, had disposable cash which the main purpose of is to spend frivilously, had two full weeks to leisurely roam around and see what you wanted.................. It's just not the same when living here and you're dealing with limited vacation time and choices such as "should I go see my family at Christmas or take a week in Chamonix to ski?" Trust me, it's not easy making these decisions. You tend to hoard your vacation time and try to use it in the best way possible, and believe me, it's not for one week trips to the spas in Baden Baden or to go hang in Amsterdam and then London. Instead, three-day weekends are used to travel to places further afoot and normal weekends are used to hit up areas within a reasonable driving distance. No matter what type of a trip it is, though, you're going to come back exhausted, worn-out and just a bit more disillusioned on the whole Europe travel deal. Then you go back to work on Monday and hope you don't fall asleep at your desk.
So no, don't be envious of me. I'm envious of YOU. I'm envious of the obvious tourists I see casually strolling down the narrow streets in Lisbon, taking the time to peacefully enjoy the city, even if they are waisting half of their time seeing some of the obnoxious built-for-tourists sites. More than likely, I'm the obvious tourist walking very quickly by you trying to escape the traps and pitfalls that someone like Rick Steves showcases on his program. I'm the guy with the map out, looking for the places I'm least likely to run in to groups of non-residents to try to get a REAL feel for the place in as little time as possible. It's a crappy way to do things, but when your options and time are limited, you do what you have to.
I realize that I won't live here forever so I really do try to be more than just the typical tourist when I travel. I've enrolled in the crash course "Real Europe - 101" and let me tell you, the professor is tough as nails. I know that it may sound like I hate the tourist hordes that descend on the continent every summer, but really it just all boils down to jealousy. Yep, I'm lucky as hell to live here, but damn I wish I had more time to enjoy it!
Future plans include taking over Mr. Bourdane's job when he retires.......
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